Early Arrival!

On December 22 at 4:26 pm a new addition was welcomed into our family 14 weeks early. M was 2lbs and she is 13 in. long!  So tiny! My sister was pregnant with her first little one.  Her and her boyfriend were so excited and happy when they found out!  We all were...She loved finally being able to show off her bump...She couldn't wait for it to be HUGE!

This is her Dec 18 4 days before delivering.

Unfortunately, she won't get that experience this time around...It seems she has the same condition I do, incompetent cervix...Its every woman's worst enemy that has it when pregnant...No woman knows she has it and there are not any tests to find out if you do...She was such a warrior through it all...She was calm and relaxed...She was fully dilated for 16 hours!  Her goal was to make sure she got the 2nd surfactant shot and she did!  I am so proud of her! M was born in her amniotic sac.  I never saw my son come out of me.  I was too drugged up with the magnesium sulfate and so was she...She did get to see her after they got her intubated to help her breathe though...

M is doing great and so is my sister..The respirator is only breathing 30 breaths a min for her right now and she is doing the rest!  For her gestation that is WONDERFUL!  They are only allowing parents and grandparents to see her right now.  Once she is bigger and stronger others can come see her.  She is definitely a mini version of my sister.  We already love her so much and know God has big plans for her!  If you read this can you please send up lots of prayers for her!

       Prematurity is not as uncommon as people believe...I too had a preemie...He was 13 weeks early and doing fine.  You can't tell he was a preemie at all.  Doctors are not sure what causes my sister and I 's incompetent cervix.  Some believe its genetics other think its just something that happens...  Since my sister has the same condition as me I and going with the genetics belief...esp since we have not had any damage done to our cervix...Please be aware of any signs of premature labor...For her and I hip pain, leaky breasts around 17/18 weeks gestation, feeling like our stomach were stretching earlier than normal,  a heaviness in our pelvis, were our signs...She had spotting and cramps when she went to the hospital with no clue what was going on...For me my amniotic sac was protruding out of me already...I am hoping this article could help someone who may be experiencing these symptoms...Don't ignore them and if you get to the dr and they say you are fine, then better be safe then sorry....

Merry Christmas everyone!  God gave us a true blessing this year!

Its THAT Time of Year! Pt 2

     Its the time of year when everyone is "supposed" to be joyful and happy all the time....Spreading good cheer...You know the drill....It doesn't always go that way though....
     The kids seemed to be hopped up on sugar that you know they didn't get from you 24/7...They are fighting more than ever and being even more resistant to what you tell them to do.  It seems like things are not going to be "normal" again.  You try to put on your happy face but lets be honest some days it seems impossible and maybe it is impossible...I'm going to try to be positive though but first things first the terrible 3's!
     My 2 year old insists he is NEVER naughty....hmmm...i think other wise mister, he is very strong willed and wants things his way....He thinks Santa is only bringing him presents.He says no one else is getting any..He is definitely at the terrible 3 stage of me, me, me, and only me even though he has a bit over a month til his birthday...

Right now this is our "normal".  My 2 year old thinks he is allowed to beat his older brother up even though he has be repeatedly told no and given many time outs...

This is the look I got when I told him to stop...Its the "What?! I wasn't doing anything" look.  He knew he was in trouble.

My oldest doesn't believe in Santa anymore at the age of 8!  That's ok though.  He does know what Christmas is about and was happy to get to pick his sister and brother a gift...He wanted to use his money but I told him I would buy them and for him to save his money for something important....

My 8 year old has been very winy lately and has become a home body...We had to make him go place with us this weekend...He then acts tired the whole time...He wants to be playing INFINITY...

He does enjoy himself when he goes with us but I have to be quick to catch the moments he has forgotten about being at home.  I LOVE his smile...Please don't stop blessing the world with your kind, giving, and loving heart...He really is wise beyond his years with some of the things he says when we have deep discussions but his 8 year old self makes itself heard for sure...

Bella is Very much into Christmas...She is typically happy and she seems even more so here lately...

You can often find her dancing in the kitchen to Katy Perry or OneRepublic with her version of ballet.  She has spunk and a fire I never want to see dim...I love how she can make a whole room smile with her happiness radiating off of her...She has actually been on her best behavior lately and the first to tell the boys to stop and behave...

Here is our picture with Santa this year...It may not be your version of perfect but this is what our year has looked like at times...2 grumpy boys and one happy girl...Its not always going to look this way, but I want to remember these years how they actually were.  So to me its our perfect.

It's That Time of Year......

It is time for the holidays! We have already put our tree up and decorated for Christmas.  Lat year it was like a week before Christmas when we decorated.  My kids are in the Christmas spirit now.  My 2 year old was in it around Halloween week.  We LOVE this time of year.  I like getting to give to others and see the enjoyment of the gifts I give them.  Our lovely little tree is from Target! Best $25 spent.  All of our ornaments are either handmade or from when I was a child except for a handful my kids have picked out over the years.

On another note Thanksgiving is in a little more than a week!  I can't wait.  Cooking, eating, and shopping all in one day!  We also enjoy watching the Macy's parade in the morning on TV with the kids.  It is one of the only days of the year my hard working husband gets off since he works in a restaurant.  He gets to relax and only peel the potatoes and cut the onion for me...The rest is left to my mom and I.  We like to cook and we serve it up buffet style.  We all hang out in the kitchen and living room and eat.  Nothing fancy around here, just spending time with each other talking and watching Christmas shows.  Then we go black Friday shopping after all is said and done. I hope you all have an awesome holiday season this year!  I will post some of our Thanksgiving Recipes next weekend after things have calmed down....

Creamy Cod Soup with Butternut Squash and Thyme

Tonight I decided to give a recipe I found a while back...I don't cook seafood much so I was worried I would mess it up or I wouldn't like it. Let me tell you this was so delicious! I was sweet from the squash and wasn't too fishy either.

Creamy Cod and Butternut Squash Soup

serves 4    Prep 20 MIN Cook 35 MIN

1 package thick cut bacon, chopped

1 onion, chopped

3 ribs celery, finely chopped

2 tbsp. fresh thyme

1 small butternut squash-peeled, seeded, and diced

1 1/2 tbsp flour

3 1/2 C veggie stock

1/2 C clam Juice

1 lb. skinless cod fillets, cut into large pieces

1 C heavy cream

1 crusty loaf of bread for dipping

A pinch of cayenne

hot sauce if desired 

1. In a large pot cook the bacon until crispy.  Add the onion, celery, and fresh thyme and cook, stirring frequently, until the veggies are tender.  Stir in the squash and flour and cook, stirring until the flour starts to brown.  Stir in the stock and clam juice and bring to a boil.  Reduce the heat to med-low and simmer until the squash is tender.  Season with salt and pepper.
2. Add the cod, cover and simmer until the fish flakes apart easily with a fork, about 5 min.  Stir in the cream and cayenne.  
3. Toast the bread in the oven.
4. Serve with the tasty bread and ENJOY!

B really enjoyed and so did everyone else who ate it!  I hope you all like it.

About Me

Hi! I'm Ashley. I am a stay at home mom to 3 beautiful children. I've been with my husband for almost 11 years.  We met my JR year of high school. He is 2 years older than me and I had lost all confidence in myself.  He showed me otherwise.  He was always there for me, even when we were broken up for 2 months.  He took me to school every morning even when he didn't get much sleep the night before due to his work schedule.  He wanted to make sure I got there safe and didn't have to stand in the cold and snow in the winter. He got me a promise ring for out first year anniversary. I found out I was pregnant at the end of my SR year of high school. He was right by my side when I told my parents and he was at every doctors apt holding my hand. He was there when I screamed because I knew out son would be arriving 13 weeks early.  He was at the hospital everyday in the NICU for 58 days while we watched our son become healthy and strong and beat the odds. They told us numerous times that our son would have CP due to grade 4 brain bleeds, he had sepsis and told us to prepare for the worst, and they said he was having trouble gaining weight and was losing weight(we found out the scale was broken on his bed, when he dirtied his incubator when  the RN was changing his diaper). He doesn't have CP and he is ALIVE! He is now 8 years old and in Advanced learner classes. He plays soccer and LOVES building with is LEGOS.  He has asthma due to his prematurity. He had to have his tonsils and adenoids removed and he also had to have a PDA surgically repaired.

We have had 2 more children full term.  I found out I had incompetent cervix and had to have a cerclage with both of the pregnancies. My daughter is 5 and  loves soccer and hanging out with her older brother. She loves to sing and dance just as much as she likes to get dirty! My youngest son is almost 3 and he LOVES all sports especially soccer and basketball.  He is a rough and tumble kind of boy for sure and a bit more daring than I want.  He keeps me on the edge of my seat.  He likes to get on his brother's skateboard and ride it more than him and try to do "tricks."  This boy make me a nervous wreck but I love him for it.  I love the family that God has blessed me with and I hope you will follow us on our journey.

Self Criticism

I have been on a journey the past 2 years to love myself, no matter my flaws and to become a healthier, happier version of my true self.  It has been a roller coaster.  I have hated myself because of my weight since I was a teenager.  I have lost almost 50 lbs in 2 years. Its much better than gaining weight.  I want my children to know me as the mom who does things with them, goes to soccer games and is the loudest one yelling for them to do their best, and I want them to have confidence in themselves even when they are not the best.  I now am confident in this journey. I will not criticize myself over my weight any longer. I will be confident in myself because even though I'm not the size I want to be this body held 3 babies in it, even though one was born at 27 weeks, and nourished them and gave them life. I will be proud of who I am and not be embarrassed and stay in the house and hide. I am going to go outside and enjoy my life with my family! I want my daughter to know how to love herself and never be ashamed of who she is no matter her size. I want my sons to know that telling a girl/woman she is fat because you don't agree with her size is unacceptable because women already judge themselves harshly enough.  Women need love and encouragement from their husbands not criticism: we do that enough to ourselves. The picture I am posting is one I would have deleted last year as soon as a saw it but its of my everyday, taking care of my babies. I would have criticized my belly and rolls but you know what my kids don't care about that. This shows the love I have for them and a simple moment between my son and I at his last soccer game.

 These are the moments I want to remember and I want him to remember; the simple ones:mom zipping my jacket because I have on goalie gloves, being read t at night, mom screaming so loud it was embarrassing(almost), and the love I gave.