Self Criticism

I have been on a journey the past 2 years to love myself, no matter my flaws and to become a healthier, happier version of my true self.  It has been a roller coaster.  I have hated myself because of my weight since I was a teenager.  I have lost almost 50 lbs in 2 years. Its much better than gaining weight.  I want my children to know me as the mom who does things with them, goes to soccer games and is the loudest one yelling for them to do their best, and I want them to have confidence in themselves even when they are not the best.  I now am confident in this journey. I will not criticize myself over my weight any longer. I will be confident in myself because even though I'm not the size I want to be this body held 3 babies in it, even though one was born at 27 weeks, and nourished them and gave them life. I will be proud of who I am and not be embarrassed and stay in the house and hide. I am going to go outside and enjoy my life with my family! I want my daughter to know how to love herself and never be ashamed of who she is no matter her size. I want my sons to know that telling a girl/woman she is fat because you don't agree with her size is unacceptable because women already judge themselves harshly enough.  Women need love and encouragement from their husbands not criticism: we do that enough to ourselves. The picture I am posting is one I would have deleted last year as soon as a saw it but its of my everyday, taking care of my babies. I would have criticized my belly and rolls but you know what my kids don't care about that. This shows the love I have for them and a simple moment between my son and I at his last soccer game.

 These are the moments I want to remember and I want him to remember; the simple ones:mom zipping my jacket because I have on goalie gloves, being read t at night, mom screaming so loud it was embarrassing(almost), and the love I gave.