Summer

My oldest has asked"Is summer here yet?" a lot over this past week.  He knows we will have 4 months of no school.  He finishes his school year about 2 weeks early and his school calendar doesn't start til the VERY end of August!  I love it.  We love his online charter school!  B my dd will be starting Kinder with the same school this year!  I am soooo nervous.  A didn't start online charter til 2nd grade.  We knew the P.S system was failing him.  He was being punish for finishing his work first, even if the answers were all right he would get points taken off.  Not fair.  He was also being bullied with no help from the school.  Since we made the switch I have a much happier child with out crying over home work and waking up early.  No he still doesn't LOVE school and we still have hard days but it is much easier to manage than before.  Right now we are knee deep in writing book reports and short stories so he's not too happy because he HATES writing.

We are taking it easy this summer because I have a surprise planned for my kids at the end of Oct!  We have to save so we can have an extra special trip.  We are going to drive down to Disney and let them do MNSSHP and have a nice family vacation with my hubby which have have yet to do! My very loving and hardworking husband has yet to go on a family trip and this will be his first trip to Disney.  I hope he loves it as much as I do.  I will post all about how I planned it the price and break everything down.  I haven't posted much in a while but I am trying to figure out how I want this blog to be.

Life Right Now

    We are ready for Spring...We had fun playing in the snow the other day!  I haven't went out to play in the cold in FOREVER! It was fun to get to watch my children play in the snow.  We turned our deck stairs into a mini snow sledding hill...It was perfect for them!  They slept really good that night.                                   

This is why we are thinking ahead to the summer.  We want to make new memories and do thisngs we have never done before.  The kids decided that we should give tent camping a try so...Right now I am in the middle of trying to come up with a summer vacation idea...We are going to go camping or the 1st time this summer...I know what basics I need.  We are going to a campground with flushing toilets and showers.  No primitive stuff for us at this point, maybe later on.  We are going to Missouri.  We have never been here before so it will be another state off of list of ones we have NEVER been to!  I am excited.   There are a few things I want to do while we are there.  The City Museum and arch and we may travel down to Branson and hang out there.  We are still trying to get our camping gear together...We have a tent and one tarp....I need sleeping bags, chairs, another tarp, grill, stove, air mattress for the hubby and I and some more lanterns for sure...I can't forget the cooler!  Does anyone else have camping tips?

     Adrian has a sleep study and MRI coming up!  We are nervous and hope everything is OK.  He has been having sleep issues and migraines lately so we want to make sure there are no underlying causes.  We have been on a roller coaster ride since he was born.  Prematurity isn't a joke!  We are so blessed that he is normal.  He should be mentally and physically disabled.  He was on the brink of death more than once.  He had a PDA that went undetected for more than 4 yrs.  He had that fixed, his adenoids and tonsils removed, asthma, and now this!  Praying he is fine!  We won't know the results until May unless it is something serious I suppose...

Loving Who you Are Now

As you all can see from the photos I post of my self I am "plus size."  I have never really been skinny.  Even as a child I was chunky.  I was a very active child and was outside playing all summer til it was time to come in for dinner.  I still kept gaining weight.  I played sports in middle school and high school and was being considered by colleges my freshman year for basketball.  No one believed my weight when I would tell them what it was.  You don't look that fat, they would say.  I was so unhappy with myself over my size.  I would beat myself up by talking down to myself. I put on a facade of self confidence when deep down I had zero.  Even though boys liked me and told me I was beautiful I didn't believe them, to be honest with you until recently I had a hard time believing my husband when he told me I was sexy.

Last year I started working out to try and lose weight. I lost 40lbs and still was not happy.  I kept trying to lose more and more weight but my body stalled.  I'm still the same weight I was when I quit killing my self with working out.  I prayed for answers from God and He answered by letting me hear my beautiful little girl say she was ugly, when she is GORGEOUS!  She had heard me talk down about myself so often she was now doing it!  She has opened my eyes and you know what I AM BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!



  I don't care if the size 2 girl sitting next to me thinks I'm fat because yes I may be fat but I love myself so much I don't care what you think.  This body of mine carried 1 baby that came 13 weeks early and 2 others to term.  I can walk on my 2 feet and sing and dance with my kids.  I eat veggies and fruits and yes I do indulge in junk food( brownies and macarons are my weakness and chocolate eclairs.)  But at least I am enjoying life. I don;t care if you like me in my swimming suit.  I like me in it and I look good.  My butt is to die for and always has been.  My green eyes have a sparkle that I love!  I also have dimples when I smile.  I see me in my beautiful children every day and I want them to love themselves and not be scared to do something.  This year is my year I am going to love myself and some things I feared doing because of my size because my weight doesn't define me or how healthy I am.

Love who you are now. Not who you may become.  Tomorrow is never given.  Your beauty lies within and if you let it out your whole world will change.  I know mine is piece by piece and I can't wait to see what the future holds!

 

Lately...

Life has been a blur lately...We celebrated my son's 3rd birthday last month and my wonderful husband's 30th birthday all in the same week!  I made a video of C over the past 3 yrs... I can't believe how much he has grown and changed...He is definitely a handful!  He tries to get cute when he is in trouble to get out of it...He also gives this look when he wants something...I love him so much...He was such a HUGE surprise when I found out I was pregnant with him...I had had a mirena in when I got pregnant and somehow my body kept the pregnancy and got rid of the mirena! God knew what my little family was missing and gave it to us.

My grandmother also passed away.  She was such a kind woman who loved little ones!  I will miss her tons.  Even though we aren't super close I still remember time I was with her when I would stay over occasionally or she would pick me up from school.  I remember her singing in the car and grocery shopping in her little red hatch back,,,I remember the peanuts jelly jars that she would keep as drinking glasses for the kids...I remember the smell of  the fireplace at her house and I almost always fell asleep on her couch when it was burning...I still have all the bunnies and bears and dolls she made for me...My daughter even loves on one of the rabbits she gave me for Easter one year!  I wish I would have gotten the chance for her to teach me to sew...

My sister's baby is doing exceptionally well and should be home from  the NICU soon...She is now in an open bed and off of oxygen support completely...now she just needs to quit having Bradys and take all her feeds from breast or bottle...right now she is only doing every other feeding.  I don't thing she has had any Bradys in a few days but it has to be so many days before its checked off...she over 4lbs now too...

I have decided to do traditional homeschooling next year with my daughter for sure...I'm not sure if I'm sticking with the online charter for my son or not.  I'm leaning to traditional home school him as well.  The testing is too harsh for kids in the elementary years.  Its longer than college entrance exams and they have so many of them...maybe we will go back to online charter once they are in middle school...

Going to try to do one to three posts a week if possible but idk maybe a recipe day, a home school post day, and just random thoughts and life in general...

Christmas 2014 and the New Year

This year I wanted to keep things simple and laid back for Christmas....The kids may not have gotten much but they loved what they got and are still enjoying their gifts...I didn't want them overwhelmed with a mountain of toys...The few they got are the ones they said they REALLY wanted...Christmas morning was easy and had a light feeling to it...there was no pressure to go here and there and we got to relax and enjoy watching our kids play with their new toys...

Now we are heading into the new year not very stressed and not in MAJOR debt over toys...We do have a goal of paying off the small debts we have this year and making big dents in our larger debts especially our car payment...the more ahead we are on it the less interest we get charged and the sooner we can plan our trip to Disney....The one thing my hubby and I said is the car has be paid off before we go....we were going to go this year but we sat down and discussed whats more important and how we want the kids to really remember our trip....we have a few birthdays this month my youngest is turning 3!  My hubby is also turning 30! Hopefully this year will be positive and a lot of goodness and blessing will happen for our family...we have had a rough couple years and need a big shift for the better...

Early Arrival!

On December 22 at 4:26 pm a new addition was welcomed into our family 14 weeks early. M was 2lbs and she is 13 in. long!  So tiny! My sister was pregnant with her first little one.  Her and her boyfriend were so excited and happy when they found out!  We all were...She loved finally being able to show off her bump...She couldn't wait for it to be HUGE!

This is her Dec 18 4 days before delivering.

Unfortunately, she won't get that experience this time around...It seems she has the same condition I do, incompetent cervix...Its every woman's worst enemy that has it when pregnant...No woman knows she has it and there are not any tests to find out if you do...She was such a warrior through it all...She was calm and relaxed...She was fully dilated for 16 hours!  Her goal was to make sure she got the 2nd surfactant shot and she did!  I am so proud of her! M was born in her amniotic sac.  I never saw my son come out of me.  I was too drugged up with the magnesium sulfate and so was she...She did get to see her after they got her intubated to help her breathe though...

M is doing great and so is my sister..The respirator is only breathing 30 breaths a min for her right now and she is doing the rest!  For her gestation that is WONDERFUL!  They are only allowing parents and grandparents to see her right now.  Once she is bigger and stronger others can come see her.  She is definitely a mini version of my sister.  We already love her so much and know God has big plans for her!  If you read this can you please send up lots of prayers for her!

       Prematurity is not as uncommon as people believe...I too had a preemie...He was 13 weeks early and doing fine.  You can't tell he was a preemie at all.  Doctors are not sure what causes my sister and I 's incompetent cervix.  Some believe its genetics other think its just something that happens...  Since my sister has the same condition as me I and going with the genetics belief...esp since we have not had any damage done to our cervix...Please be aware of any signs of premature labor...For her and I hip pain, leaky breasts around 17/18 weeks gestation, feeling like our stomach were stretching earlier than normal,  a heaviness in our pelvis, were our signs...She had spotting and cramps when she went to the hospital with no clue what was going on...For me my amniotic sac was protruding out of me already...I am hoping this article could help someone who may be experiencing these symptoms...Don't ignore them and if you get to the dr and they say you are fine, then better be safe then sorry....

Merry Christmas everyone!  God gave us a true blessing this year!

Its THAT Time of Year! Pt 2

     Its the time of year when everyone is "supposed" to be joyful and happy all the time....Spreading good cheer...You know the drill....It doesn't always go that way though....
     The kids seemed to be hopped up on sugar that you know they didn't get from you 24/7...They are fighting more than ever and being even more resistant to what you tell them to do.  It seems like things are not going to be "normal" again.  You try to put on your happy face but lets be honest some days it seems impossible and maybe it is impossible...I'm going to try to be positive though but first things first the terrible 3's!
     My 2 year old insists he is NEVER naughty....hmmm...i think other wise mister, he is very strong willed and wants things his way....He thinks Santa is only bringing him presents.He says no one else is getting any..He is definitely at the terrible 3 stage of me, me, me, and only me even though he has a bit over a month til his birthday...

Right now this is our "normal".  My 2 year old thinks he is allowed to beat his older brother up even though he has be repeatedly told no and given many time outs...

This is the look I got when I told him to stop...Its the "What?! I wasn't doing anything" look.  He knew he was in trouble.

My oldest doesn't believe in Santa anymore at the age of 8!  That's ok though.  He does know what Christmas is about and was happy to get to pick his sister and brother a gift...He wanted to use his money but I told him I would buy them and for him to save his money for something important....

My 8 year old has been very winy lately and has become a home body...We had to make him go place with us this weekend...He then acts tired the whole time...He wants to be playing INFINITY...

He does enjoy himself when he goes with us but I have to be quick to catch the moments he has forgotten about being at home.  I LOVE his smile...Please don't stop blessing the world with your kind, giving, and loving heart...He really is wise beyond his years with some of the things he says when we have deep discussions but his 8 year old self makes itself heard for sure...

Bella is Very much into Christmas...She is typically happy and she seems even more so here lately...

You can often find her dancing in the kitchen to Katy Perry or OneRepublic with her version of ballet.  She has spunk and a fire I never want to see dim...I love how she can make a whole room smile with her happiness radiating off of her...She has actually been on her best behavior lately and the first to tell the boys to stop and behave...

Here is our picture with Santa this year...It may not be your version of perfect but this is what our year has looked like at times...2 grumpy boys and one happy girl...Its not always going to look this way, but I want to remember these years how they actually were.  So to me its our perfect.